The ‘Monkey’ Lied

Have you ever heard the age-old saying, ‘speak to the organ grinder, not the monkey’?

Well the day that I called my General Practitioner (GP (organ grinder)) and spoke to the receptionist (monkey) to confirm the outcome of my test results, was the day I clearly took leave from my senses.

Instead of skimming through my notes to declare that all my tests were fine, and that I was not required to see the doctor, the receptionist should have said that she didn’t have time to read through 5 pages of my results.  Ok, ok, to be fair I wouldn’t have been very impressed. My blood may have turned into scorching hot larva with that response, but at that point I would have been able to make an informed choice to schedule an appointment with my GP asap.

So I sat quite comfortably on cloud nine, rest assured that there were no obvious indications (through the blood test results) of infertility or related issues. Which in itself suggested that it was just probably a matter of time before I conceived. 

Well cloud nine soon cleared and I then fell to earth with a THUMP.

If it wasn’t for my GP contacting me two months later to find out why I had not visited the surgery regarding my results, I wouldn’t have found out that one my iron levels are below the level it should be, I’m over producing prolactin, and my progesterone is lower than is normal.

Consequently, from what I understand now; the ttc dream can be made more difficult with the imbalance of prolactin and or progesterone in my body.

BUGGER, BUGGER, BUGGER!

No worries…

Having vented my frustration I remain genuinely pleased that out of the 52 tests taken from my blood sample, only 3 issues were detected all of which are (most importantly) treatable.

Our next steps toward Bi9 as laid out by my GP is to get my husband tested and then depending on the results we will be referred to a fertility clinic for treatment.

Additionally, I will make sure that my diet has an upsurge of the right nutritious intake to give my body a boost, by omitting the Pregnacare Conception supplement and introducing the RIGHT doses of folic acid, evening primrose and iron. TRYING to eat red meat, and even more dark green vegetables (which will be my pleasure).

I’m feeling positive because now I know what I’m dealing with. I’m not facing an impossible situation; there are just a few imbalances that need to be put right.

The moral of the story; as intelligent as a monkey is, the organ grinder is always the one to talk to.

May the London autumn breeze blow 700 tons of baby dust your way.

HEALTH WARNING: Goggles may be required

1,2,3... SMILE

My mood reflected the weather here in London this morning - cold and gloomy, until I heard a still small voice whisper;  count your blessings one by one, so I did: 

1. I have a very special husband
2. I have a loving home and a beautiful house
3. My family unit is incredible in so many ways

Not everyone can number their blessings to 3, so today I am very grateful that I could indeed go on but just choose not to show off, you know how it is.

Now my frown has been replaced with something more fitting for a woman that has so much happiness in her life and nothing really to complain about...my smile reigns supreme.

Knock Knock

Me: Knock Knock
You: Who's there?
Me: Just Me


It's been such a long time since I've put pen to paper - years actually, if you take that literally - these days it's all about 'typing to script' rather the prehistoric (but reliable) 'pen to paper'.


Seriously, my absence from the social network was almost required as my thoughts were so melancholy. So much that my inspiration was heavily saturated with the weight of worry, and the feeling of hopelessness all of a sudden - all for far too long. As a consequence, hints of my clouded mentality would have surely leaked into Bi9's blog, so I stayed away.


My pivotal moment appeared when I finally visited my local GP (I'm generally so reluctant) to find out whether there were any immediate signs of infertility. Blind to all but one, I was (and am) not just green with envy (some days) but I am a rainbow of the sin, mainly of newly pregnant mums and mums (I wish I wasn't).  So for my sanity I needed a little trickle of hope that would surely out weigh my despair.
 
Thank GOD the various blood tests were negative (in other words, the test were fine). But when I next speak to the doctor I'll ask whether more tests can be done - maybe an ultra sound or MRI - just to make sure I'm all wired up correctly.  I hope he doesn't tell me to, 'just relax' I'm fed up of hearing that, I am as relaxed as I can be (ummm... maybe it's time to light a candle and burn some lavender incense, just to make sure…lol).


Me: Knock knock 
You: Who's there?
Me: Husband, wife and Bi9 (soon we hope)

Balancing on a Wall of Indifference

It’s 26 days since my cycle began and I can honestly say that I haven’t allowed my mind to wonder either side my emotional wall of indifference, until today. I suspect this partly subconscious attempt is a futile effort not to inflate my hopes too much. Well, at least until I know for sure that, Little Red Riding Hood has gone on an extended holiday for 9 months.

Last week, the press delivered a stark reminder that conception is only a small fraction of this BIG challenge. Despite ALL the effort made to conceive and have a healthy pregnancy, it can still end in heartbreak. Amanda Holden’s (Brittan Got Talent judge) pregnancy tragically coming to an end at 7 months has brought this thought to the forefront of my mind.
Yet I am still willing to pursue the prize of motherhood.

So my quest for a Baby In Nine continues; I’ve been eating well, enjoying fresh fish, and vegetables. As well as keeping hydrated with regular doses of red bush tea (great antioxidant) and a selection of juices. Having said this, I’ve not been able to consume more than half a litre of water a day (plain water is such a bore), except to take my Conception Support supplements by Boots Chemist. Additionally, I haven’t touched a drop of alcohol or caffeine including chocolate, umm well…I confess I had one Twix…I just couldn’t help myself (I practically breathed it in I craved it sooo much). 

Oh yeah…I nearly forgot another triumph; I’ve been exercising more regularly too! Well that is if you constitute running from the foxes to the bus top each morning a meaningful regime.

Anyway, enough of that, this is potentially the good bit, on the 12th of Feb I’ll know if She’s gone on that holiday I mentioned earlier and if She has, I’ll take the dreaded pregnancy test on the 14th of Feb. Either way I’ll keep you posted.

Throw a little baby dust my way (I’ve got a fist full for you)!

Ready Steady Go!

The pressure is on. I have the echoes of, 'when are we going to hear the patter of tiny feet’, in a hundred different forms, rattling around in my head, coupled with my own desire to parent and share the new love of my life.

So I’m all geared up (but not overjoyed) to do all the recommended things by one or two of the experts out there (check out; www.goodtoknow.co.uk/family/142797/Eat-to-get-pregnant). One of which is to eat well, which for me means eliminating caffeine (come on… NO CHOCOLATE…that can’t be right) and alcohol (not a problem). As well as introducing seeds (no I’m not trying to plant a tree), brazil nuts etc, more fish and vegetables.

The biggest challenge for me this month is going to be having breakfast. When I wake up at the ungodly hour 3:50am, I think that my body is a little torn between whether it should be yearning for a slice of pizza or oats porridge!

Oh boy, I have a feeling it’s going to be a challenging month.

… But this journey is not for the swift but for the girl who can endure to the end.

So on your marks, get set, go!

I Think I Prefer My Overdraft -

'Being in the RED' doesn't mean what it used to mean to me anymore. Each month instead of worrying whether my bank account is painfully overdrawn, I find myself on a 28 day emotional roller coaster hoping that when I get to the end of the ride, my body will be ready to begin another (longed for) journey for two. The result...a BabyInNine! 

Four months on from embarking on this heart tugging journey, today my body has presented the irrefutable evidence that I am not pregnant...again....I'm a Lady in Red...and I'm not talking about a hot new pair of shoes!
 

Needless to say the news has drained me today, I feel so disappointed and even responsible for the undesirable result.

Reflectively, I have spent maybe too long considering where I went wrong over the past month, today. So I am determined (not sure how yet) to transform my mood into a positive forward focused state by the end of this evening.