Writing a final blog for BabyInNine has been haunting the back of my mind for ages.
Too many years have past since my last contribution, so much so that I have debated the relevance of this piece. But maybe someone somewhere may want to know how my story ended.
Five years on, a husband, no dog, no cat, a brown picket fence and two kids later…life is good and I am happy.
As I reflect on the time that has passed, I conclude that despite my good understanding of how babies are made biologically, the science doesn’t quite cover it for me. In my eyes the entire process is lovingly cloaked in a million yards of mystery and awesomeness.
Can anyone really be in doubt that a higher being is involved?
I am in no doubt.
In my heart I feel that the reasons my body went from producing hormones that would make it very difficult to get pregnant (see previous blogs) to going on to having not one but two babies was because of the following formula:
God + Love + Maca = Noah & Anabelle
My GP was lovely, very attentive, solution focused but contrary to common or indeed correct practice he was willing to extend a word of faith. I recall at one of my visits he said to me that I should pray and make a deal with God. A deal I was willing to honour.
From the moment he said it I felt a little hot with guilt as I hadn’t spoken to the good Lord in years. It seemed a bit of a cheek to ask him for a baby when he hadn’t seen me (at church) or heard (prayer) from me in yonks.
I couldn't bring myself to do it for months until a day of despair, desperation and tears. Then my prayer went a little something like this...
I feel really bad bowing before you in need. You must think this is well out of order as I don’t even stop to grace my food properly before gobbling it up. But please know I love you and appreciate you and I’m sorry that I define M I A (missing in action).
Lord I really would love to be pregnant and become a little person's mother. I lay in bed sometimes and day dream of my little someone crawling from their room into mine and my heart warms with the prospect. But nothing is happening and I need your help.
If you help me I promise to bring my son or daughter to church and help them to know you.
My home is a loving space to be in. If there was a weather forecast for it it would be ‘mostly sunny’. My husband has a remarkable ability to be consistently positive and loving. So when my tears tried to drown me or thoughts of ‘it’s never going to happen’ preyed on my mind, he was ready with affection, kind words or just welcome silence.
How I stumbled on this wonder root I can’t tell you. It’s likely that after our results for hormone imbalance and sperm mobility I got Googling and maca showed up as a natural non invasive solution.
Importantly after my visit to Whole Foods in London to obtain the power form. I started adding it to most of our main meals and smoothies. We didn’t finish the batch before I got pregnant. So to round off a time frame I was pregnant within two months.
In summary I truly believe that the environment for growth changed with prayer (not just mine), the help of the maca and of course lots of love.
Now in 2015 I am in awe of the beauty and laughter that surrounds me.
My son and daughter are very precious noisy additions to my family.
This is where part of my story ends and another begins